Detect no Life
by Dessa
Summary: PostGlühen fic revolving around Nagi and Mamoru, centered around the song Dtechnolife by UVERworld. Please RR. Special thanks to my beta, Angie.


Detect no Life

By Dessa

Author's Note: This fic takes place after the Glühen series. It's told from the persepectives of both Takatori Mamoru (aka Tsukiyono Omi), and Naoe Nagi. I ran into a slight problem with the song lyrics, differentiating their text from the main fic, so I italicized them. However, I put flashbacks in as well, and since those were in italics, the song lyrics in those sections are not italicized. But I made the lyrics a smaller size text, too, to help out.

AN2: Note the use of honorifics. Nagi refers to Omi as "Omi-kun" (which would refer to them as friends/equals), but Mamoru simply as "Mamoru" (leaving off the honorific could be rude, but in this sense, it means they are close, but he's choosing not to mark him as his equal with 'kun' or his superior with 'san' or 'sama'). Rex, of course, uses "Mamoru-sama," as he is her boss.

The man once known as Tsukiyono Omi leaned against the rail as he looked out over the water. He had always loved coming here, to the seaside, and now it was the place he could escape from the life that he had accepted.

_ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi yo  
kesenai kako mo seoi atte ikou ikiru koto wo nage dasanai de  
((Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed  
Shoulder the burden of the past that cannot be erased; don't throw away your will to live))  
_

He took a sigh. Was it really worth it? Was what he was doing really so important? Was it so important for him to be Persia, to send people on missions to kill, and to have to become what he had always hated?

_tsunaida kimi no te wo  
((Your hand that I held...))_

From a small distance a way, a young man stood watching the other. At one time, they had been enemies. And now… he wouldn't call them friends, but they were there for each other. Both of them had lost everything they held dear, and now were all the other had left.

_itsuka ushinatte shimau no kana  
usurete iku egao to kimi wo mamoritai kara  
((Will we lose it someday?  
I want to protect you and that disappearing smile))_

Tsukiyono Omi… no, Takatori Mamoru, now… He had always had two different sides. There was the bright smiling side. The innocent side… And then there was the darker side. The side that had grown up an assassin. He had never understood how one who could kill so easily could keep his innocence, but Omi had. Now, though… Omi was dead. The innocent one who smiled was gone. And Mamoru was struggling to stay afloat… Nagi feared that one day it would overwhelm him, and that he'd sink down to the bottom of the churning tide that his sanity had become, in the insane world he'd chosen.

"Nagi-kun?" Nagi looked to the voice. He had become so lost in his thoughts that he hadn't noticed the object of his attention turning to him. Mamoru was ready to leave, ready to go back to place that stole his life, one piece at a time. The place that refused to let Omi come back to life. Nagi frowned slightly, and then nodded, walking with the other back to the car. Nagi wished that they didn't have to go back, that the man standing next to him could become Omi again, not just Mamoru.

_hibiku boku wo yobu koe sae kare  
toki ni sou kaze ni kaki kesaretatte  
kimi wo mitsuke dasu  
((The ringing voice that calls me dries out  
Even if it gets erased by the wind along time  
I will find you))  
_

"_Why? Why did you come for me? Why would you risk your life to save me?" The boy looked at the other confused. Dust was falling from the ceiling, and the walls shook at random intervals_

"_Because you don't need to die." Blue eyes shone with determination, glancing at his watch occasionally, to check their time._

"_I've tried to kill you before! What do you care if I die? I don't care if you die. I don't care if all of humanity dies." Dark eyes cast away from bright, as dust began to fall on them more heavily. Cracks were beginning to form on the walls._

ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi  
mou waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de  
((Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed  
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people))

"_I don't think you really believe that. Just come on, we can talk later. If we don't get out now, we won't get out at all." The blond boy took the brunette's hand and started pulling him out of the building._

"_Oh, by the way… I don't think we've ever been properly introduced. My name's Tsukiyono Omi."_

mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara  
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro  
((Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning  
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize))

_The brunette looked at the blond. What was he doing? They were in mortal danger, and here he was introducing himself. As many times as they had met in the past, as enemies, the boy felt the need to introduce himself while they were escaping for their lives? He glanced at Omi as they barely escaped the collapsing building._

"_Naoe Nagi."_

sabikitta hito no you ni  
((Like a rusted person))

Nagi stood in the shadows, watching Mamoru at the desk. A blue-haired woman in a maroon suit came in and gave him papers to sign, and he barely glanced at them as he added them to the pile already there. She bowed slightly, then left the room. Nagi looked at them, knowing that they were important and needed to get signed, and also knowing that Mamoru would not be getting to them any time soon.

He watched as Mamoru glanced down at his desk drawer. Nagi knew what was in that drawer. He knew what was in every drawer in the desk. The drawer above his lap held paper and pens, if he had to write any messages. To his side, the top two drawers held files. But the bottom drawer… that's where he kept the photo. It was a photo of him, him and his team. The original Weiß. It had gotten too hard for Mamoru to look at it, so it stayed in his desk drawer, with his handgun, and darts from his days with Weiß. And Mamoru stared at the drawer all day.

_kasanari au dake ga munashikute  
hitori de ikite ikerutte itta  
((It felt so hollow to just pile atop one another  
You said you could live on your own))  
_

"Mamoru?" Nagi asked. Blue eyes that no longer shone like they used to looked at him. "I could look for them, if you want?"

Mamoru simply shook his head. Nagi sighed. He had offered many times in the past, since the incident where they had "died," and every time, he was turned down.

"It's fine, Nagi-kun. It's better if I don't know. Then my grandfather and Kritiker can't go after them anymore."

Nagi heard what he said, but knew what he really meant. Mamoru didn't want to know, because if he knew, he'd go see them, and then they'd hate him for what he did. He and his grandfather. Using Weiß for their family's own personal agenda. Nagi sighed to himself. He highly doubted Weiß truly hated their former teammate, but Mamoru was so lost that he wouldn't listen. Nagi hadn't know him well as Omi… but Omi had always taken into account what others thought. But Mamoru… Mamoru barely listened to anyone. He just shut himself off from all forms of affection, not wanting to hurt anyone. Nagi wondered if it wasn't so much hurting others, but hurting himself. Because he had always felt the pain most keenly when someone he knew was hurt, especially if it was because of him.

_arifureta yasashisa kotobajya  
ima wa mou todokanai hodo ni kimi wa uzukidasu  
((Just with the usual kind words  
You ache to a point where I cannot reach you))  
_

"_Nagi-kun!" The bright eyed boy ran over to his dark twin. "Come here! I wanna show you my favorite spot!"_

"_Omi-kun…" Omi looked at him. "I told you, I don't want to go anywhere. Why do you insist on taking me places?"_

"_Because! I want us to be friends, Nagi-kun. And I think you'll like this spot!"_

_Omi grabbed Nagi's hand and pulled him through the park._

tsunai da kimi no te wa nanigenai yasashisa wo motome  
Do you remember  
((Your hand that I held searched for some simple kindness  
Do you remember))

"_Here we are!" Omi announced brightly. It wasn't much to see, just a railing overlooking the water, with a bench nearby. But it was a nice place to let the wind blow through your hair and let you think._

"_Do you come here a lot?"_

"_Sometimes. I used to come here more… After missions, and stuff."_

"_And now?"_

"_I… I question going to my Grandfather. And… sometimes the water is calm, sometimes it's rough. Like me…"_

_Nagi looked at him. "Why do you let things affect you so much? It just hurts you more in the end."_

"_Maybe. But if I don't know what the pain feels like, how can I help someone else through it?"_

"…"

itami wo shiru koto de hito ni yasashiku nareru kara  
Drive your Life  
((By learning pain, you can become a person who can be kind to others  
Drive your Life))

"Mamoru-sama?" The woman walked straight to his desk, failing to notice Nagi standing in the shadows. Nagi smiled slyly. For someone who's supposed to be an expert in intelligence, she certainly didn't pay attention to much. He wasn't even trying to hide, really. But, then again, that's why he was there. To protect Mamoru when those around him couldn't.

Mamoru looked up at her. "Yes, Rex-san?"

"Are you feeling alright? You look tired." He did. Not physically, no, but his eyes were worn. For a man only 22 years old, his eyes looked twice his age.

"I'm fine," Mamoru lied. "I'm just going to finish up this paperwork, then I'll go home."

'No he won't,' Nagi thought. He'll stay here and sit, staring at that drawer, but never opening it. Never even reaching for it. And it'll tear him up even more inside, thinking it's his fault what happened. And it would just make him more like how Nagi used to be. What Omi had helped Nagi to change…

_ienai itami kanashimi de kizu tsuita kimi mou_

_waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de  
((Injured with pain and sadness, the you that cannot be healed  
Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people))  
_

"_Ne, Nagi-kun?"_

_Nagi looked at the boy. "What?" How had Weiß put up with his insatiable curiosity? The reason for their "feline" codenames suddenly made sense, at least for this one._

"_Why do you hate humanity?"_

"_Because humanity hates me."_

"_I'm part of humanity, aren't I?"_

"_I suppose."_

"_I don't hate you."_

"_There are always exceptions."_

_Omi remained silent. He thought about what Nagi said. "Nagi-kun?"_

"_What now?" Nagi asked, exasperated._

"_I don't think humanity hates you."_

mienai mirai ni okoru koto subete ni imi ga aru kara  
ima wa sono mama de ii kitto kizukeru toki ga kuru daro  
((Everything that happens in the unseen future has a meaning  
So stay like this, there'll come a time when you will realize))

'You were the one who taught me that sometimes there's more to life than what I can see myself… But look at you now… You're… you've become jaded, like me… No, like how I used to be. It's almost as if… as if we changed places.'

_How can I see the meaning of life  
kieteku you're the only. . .  
((How can I see the meaning of life  
Disappearing, you're the only. . .))_

"Nagi-kun." Nagi roused himself from his musings at Mamoru's voice.

As always, he was quick to acknowledge the other's request for his attention. "Mamoru?"

"You could go home, if you want. I'll be fine by myself."

_kowarenai you ni to hanarete iku kimi mou_

_((So you will not break, you distance yourself from me))  
_

"I'm fine. You don't have to worry about me. I'll stay and watch you." 'And watch for a crack in that shell you've created.'

Nagi watched as a shadow of a smile ghosted across the older boy's face. No. Not a boy… a young man, now…

_waraenai nante hito girai nante kotoba sou iwanai de  
((Don't say words like you can't smile or you hate people))  
_

"Nagi-kun?"

"Yes?"

"Why did things turn out like this? If… If I had stayed with them, instead of my grandfather… Nagi-kun… Would things have turned out differently?"

"Mamoru…" Nagi looked at him. "Crawford once told me that it was painful seeing the future. He saw what was to happen, and had to maneuver things to either happen like that, or to try to change it. He said that if he could've changed things, he would have kept him from getting that ability."

"You can't change the past."

"No, you can't… But that doesn't mean that you shouldn't try to repair the things that you've done…"

_ima wa by and by mie nakuttatte subete ni imi ga aru kara  
kesenai kako mo seoi attekou ikiru koto wo nagedasanai de  
((Now it's by and by, even if you cannot see, there's a meaning to everything  
Shoulder the burden of the past that cannot be erased; don't throw away your will to live))  
_

_Omi woke up with a start._

"_Daijoubu?" Omi looked over at the voice that had asked him that._

"_Yeah, I'm fine, Nagi-kun. It was just a dream."_

"_Do you need to talk about it? You seemed to be sweating pretty heavily." Nagi rose from the chair he'd been dozing in, and walked to the bed._

_Omi was silent for a moment. "Nagi-kun… how well do you remember your past? Before you were with Schwarz?"_

"_Not much. I don't remember much before being at Sister's church…"_

"_Church… Was that…?"_

_Nagi nodded. "Yes. Crawford used that to his advantage, and pressured me into joining Schwarz for revenge."_

"_Ah… I… I wish I remembered my past…"_

"_Do you really?" Nagi asked. He frowned. "Do you really wish to know, whether it was good or bad?"_

You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . your different Life?  
You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . modoranai kedo  
((You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . your different Life?  
You'd better forget everything. Remember. . . though, we cannot return))

"Nagi-kun…"

"Mamoru?"

Mamoru sighed. "I… Do you think they'd forgive me, for what I did?"

"Yes." Of course they would. Because no matter what he did, he was still their 'Omittchi.'

Mamoru smiled slightly. "I can't change the past… I can't even remember mine… But… I think I can live for today. And… maybe someday… things will make sense…"

Nagi looked at Mamoru. Perhaps he wasn't so far lost after all.

_hizunda kioku no you na toki no naka de itsuka wakari aeru kara  
((Like in times of warped memories, we can understand someday))_


End file.
